I’ve been sick this past week with a cold – I have the “gripe.” Sore throat, stuffed head, runny nose, cough, the usual. Being sick physically made me miss home more, which I think is natural. On Sunday night I told two of the women at LH that I was missing home, and they both gave me hugs and said they would pray for me, and reminded me that they miss their families, too. I think it was good for me to tell them, because their reaction wasn’t to say, “Oh, so you don’t like being here with us,” but to show me love.
The past two weeks have been different from my first month here, and I expect that the next 3-4 weeks will hold different experiences and challenges as well. Tensions in the house with the women have gotten better, but we will still continue to see differences arise and have conflict to work through. We need to continue working on some organizing and cleaning skills. The Women’s Conference is soon and I think we’re already starting to experience spiritual warfare, because Satan knows what a blessing this conference can be for both the women from the States who are coming and the women of LH and the other ministries they will be working with. I am personally experiencing a time in my walk with the Lord where I have the desire to go deeper but am unsure of what that looks like during my day-to-day routine here. I’m feeling like I constantly have to re-learn things I’ve already learned with the Lord, and that can feel frustrating. I’m working through how to turn to Christ first to satisfy and supply for all my needs.
As I head into the next few weeks, be praying that my heart would be focused on Christ and I would be filled with the Spirit daily. Pray that my eyes would be attentive to things that need to be done and my hands would be willing to do work that is placed before me. I want to work hard for the Lord, not for the applause of others or to fulfill high standards I set for myself. I’m asking that the Lord would help me to see my weakness as an opportunity to surrender to Him and rely on His strength. Life here is far from glamorous, and some tasks do feel meaningless – but I will continue to trust that the Lord’s purposes are above my knowledge and His ways are far better than mine.